11Dear John—er Paul
by RaivynBlack
Summary: Bella and Paul have been friends forever. Best friends. But what appends when right before Paul gets deployed into the army he admits his love for his lifelong friend. Even worse than that Bella just found out something that could change his entire outlook into whom she is. (AU no wolves or vampires)


**_A/N: h_****_ey friends! so these chapters are going to be pretty short because for the most part they will consist of letters to eachother. im currently going through a situation similar to theirs and as my theripist says "when in doubt write it out" so here goes... i hope you like it! _**

**_PAUL POV_**

I sat in my bunk with her letter in my hand. I had been gone 7 weeks without a word from my best friend. I let my mind drift to the day of my deployment…

_"Isabella, open the damn door!" I yelled at her through her front door. She opened it a flung herself at me. I dropped my bag and grunted at the contact, "shit, Bella! How the hell your 90 pounds can almost knock me over I will never know,"_

_"Why the hell did you come here?" she yelled as she whacked me across the chest _

_"Wow Bella, I'm hurt! I thought you may want to see me before I'm gone for 10 months."_

_"We agreed that last night was our goodbye, so you didn't have to see me being a blubbering idiot."_

_"Ah! Belly-Bear… I've already seen you as a blubbering idiot! Remember when that guy dumped you your sophomore year… what was his name? Oh I remember! Assward!" she sniffed and giggled at my favorite name for him then combated me with her own._

_"No, I'm pretty sure it was Emoward," I nodded in approval. I had never liked that pasty asshole he was too uptight and kept Bella from hanging out with me until he dumped Bell's and I kicked his ass and got suspended. Apparently a senior beating the shit out of a lowly sophomore was frowned upon. _

_"Anyways, I came here because I forgot to give you something," she lifted her head from my chest but kept her arms wrapped around me and looked at my quizzically. _

_"What didn't you give me?" she asked._

_"This," and with that I bent down and kissed her squarely on the lips. She gave a startled squeal before melting into me completely. Her eyes fluttered closed and I let mine do the same. At first it was gentle and sweet but that isn't what I came here for. I came here to show her that I was no longer the awkward 10 year old that she met on the beach when she was 8. But I was a 21 year old man that was going off to war and didn't want to leave without the love of my life knowing that she was just that. I traced her full bottom lip and begged entrance. With a moan she parted her lips and I let my tongue trace and explore her mouth. Her arms tightened around me and I held her closer to me. I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. "I love you," I whispered and she just whimpered and let her head fall to my chest and began sobbing. _

_Her tiny hands started banging against my chest. She was crying so hard that I couldn't make out most of what she was saying but I caught the words leaving and love amidst all of the sobs. _

_I just rubbed her back and whispered soothing things to her, "I know Belly-Bear. I know but I had to tell you before I left. I couldn't leave without you knowing how I felt. I couldn't leave with the chance that you would move on and find someone better than me. I couldn't have that. I needed you to know that I was here. That I was an option," she sighed and her sobs began to ebb to hiccups. _

_"I love you baby, but I have to go." She pried herself from my body and I placed once chaste kiss on her swollen lips before I turned and got into my truck. _

I sighed and opened the letter that had her messy print on the front. I slowly opened it and read.

Dear Paul,

That seems stupid to write. 'Dear Paul'. I feel like I should be writing 'hey Paulie-Pup!' or 'sup asshole' but you deserve more than that now. I don't know why I feel like that and I don't know what I feel about you. I'm really confused and you left. I can't even talk to you about it because you aren't here and I know it's not your fault but I can't help but blame you. I'm really messed up and if I told you what was wrong with me you wouldn't look at me the same. You wouldn't like me the same and I'm not ready to give that up yet. It's stupid because I know I like you. You try so hard to be sweet and to be what I want and you are. I'm afraid that I can't trust you though and that isn't you that's me. Wow, I just said 'it's not you it's me'. It seems like that's always been _your_ favorite line with girls. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I love you too. Always have. But I'm also pissed at you for telling me that and leaving before I had the chance to tell you what's been going on with me. I'm afraid now that if I say anything you will run screaming before you get the chance to… well I don't know whatever the hell we are going to do now that we love each other. You better keep your ass safe and write to me soon.

_p.s  
You will always be my Paulie-Pup_

_Love,  
Your Belly-Bear _

**_A/N: sooo... what did you think? im getting a little emotional over this *sigh* RL sucks right now so its easier to let my feels run rampant. just give me love if you feel the need! please and thanks!_**

**_love love,_**

**_zoe/raivynblack_**


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